Devil in White Feathers
by Phoenix87
Summary: Result of a Challenge: When Seto has to go to a very important business trip for two weeks, Yami decides to get a pet to help pass the time, what he got wasn’t what he bargained for. SetoYami Pure insanity


Title: Devil in White Feathers  
Author: Phoenix87  
Rating: PG-13 (innuendo, language)  
Pairing: Seto/Yami  
Spoilers: None  
Warnings: As much as I love animals…some have it rough in this story.  
Genre: Humor/Romance  
Disclaimers: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, it was on my wish list but I was disappointed once again!  
Summery: Sentence Spinner Challenge: "Why, did you get a pet COCKATOO, Yami?" Yugi groaned. Yami merely shrugged, "I liked the name." : When Seto has to go to a very important business trip for two weeks, Yami decides to get a pet to help pass the time, what he got wasn't what he bargained for.  
Status: One shot. Complete

(A/N: I wrote this a long time ago...I just found it in my files today. Enjoy the insanity!)

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Devil in White Feathers

Yami stood in the middle of the open door staring dumbly into the tiny store set out in front of him. Everywhere around him there was movement, dozens of eyes were trained on him and watching his every move. Slowly Yami surveyed the room fingering Seto's credit card that he held tightly in his hand. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. He had no idea there would be so many choices! Things were so much easier in Egypt. You had cats and camels, pretty straightforward.

"Can I help you Sir?" a young woman asked walking over to him

"Yes, I'm looking for a pet."

"What kind?"

"I'm not sure."

"Well, lets see what we can do about that." The nametag on her shirt revealed her to be named Laura. "Over here are the dogs." Laura said gesturing towards the larger cages.

Yami peered at the canines; they came in all sizes! From a huge Great Dane, which slobbered over everything, to a small yippy creature that Laura had called a Shih-Tzu. Yami had bent down to get a better look at the miniature dog, but as soon as he was near the cage the animal lunged at him yipping and barking madly. Horrible little thing! Yami decided firmly against it, which was lucky for the dog, as Seto would probably have ended up throwing it out a window anyway. He didn't really appreciate high-pitched noises. There were some golden retrievers and huskies and other medium sized dogs but Yami as leaning towards something quieter.

"How about a cat then?" Laura suggested

There was an animal he knew! The felines were, wisely, across the room from the dogs. They stared at Yami apathetically, flicking their tails back and forth. A calico one caught his attention; walking over to it the former pharaoh stuck on of his fingers threw the cage.

"You might not want-" Laura started. To late, the cat bit Yami's finger hard.

"OW!" Yami shrieked yanking his hand away from the demon. That's right, Yami remembered now. He hated cats! In Egypt he never could get away from them! Everywhere he turned there would be a cat, in every meal he ate he'd get a side order of fur, and every time he wanted to sit down he'd have to forcibly remove a feline. Well…maybe not EVERY time but you get the idea.

"What else to you have?"

Laura led him to many water filled tanks that housed millions of tiny fish. They swam by in their own little world weaving in and out of plastic see-weed and glided above brightly colored rocks. They were pretty to look at, but Yami new from experience that fish were not very stable pets. Yugi had one once, a big fat orange gold fish. He had won it at a fair by hurling a ping-pong ball at it. Well, soon the little glass tank grew foggy and had to be cleaned. Yugi had fished the animal out with a special tiny net they had gotten free with the tank and tried to put it in a separate bowl of water. Tried. The fish tumbled out of the net and onto the ground. Yugi screeched and they both went after it, but fish are very slippery. It constantly flopped out of their grasp every time they had a hold on it. The next thing Yami knew he was saying a eulogy over the bathroom toilet. No. No fish.

Laura tried to show him some lizards and tarantulas but that didn't last long, so they at last came to the last section of the store; the birds.

_Flashback_

_"Yami, I'm sorry okay?"_

_"I really hate your job sometimes." Yami folded his arms across his chest as he watched his lover shove a familiar white trench coat into a suitcase. _

_"I know, but the deal can't be made with out me."_

_"Then you can stay here and they can come to you."_

_"I wish it worked that way love."_

_"Are you sure there isn't anyway I can pursued you to stay?" he walked behind the other playfully wrapping his arms around the waist in front of him._

_"Yami…" _

_"You're really going to leave me alone in this huge house for two weeks?" Yami asked pressing his body forward, "With out even Mokuba to keep me company?"_

_"It's not my fault he went to a summer camp this year." Seto replied trying to wiggle out of his boyfriends ahem stimulating grip. Yami only held tighter then, reaching up on tiptoes, started kissing the back of the brunet's neck. A moan of both frustration and pleasure escaped the taller boy._

_"I'm…" –moan- "going to miss my plane."_

_"New York can wait." Yami slipped his hand forward to the front of Seto's pants and started to finger the clasps of the tight black leather. Seto swatted at his hands and quickly pulled away while he still had some willpower left._

_"Look, ah- here!" Seto shoved a credit card into Yami's hand, "if you're that lonely buy a pet or something! I have to go."_

_Yami stuck out his bottom lip and shifted his hips to the left, then right alluringly. Seto let out a grown and dashed out the door mumbling something about a 'million dollar deal' over and over again._

_Yami had made it about a week before the overpowering emptiness of the house had started to drive him insane, even the periodic visits from Yugi didn't help. Which lead the former pharaoh to the bird section of the local Domino Pet Store._

Yami grinned as he threw open the door before Yugi could even knock. Yugi looked at him suspiciously

"What did you do?"

"I'm happy and you automatically think I'm up to something?"

"You've been moping around here for a week," he paused peering inside the house, "Did Seto come back early?"

"Unfortunately no, but, I did get something to entertain myself."

He seized Yugi by the sleeve and dragged him into the house. He then planted the younger boy in front if the new addition to the plush living room. It was a tall stand with a white sheet on top hiding something beneath it. Yami grabbed the tip of the sheet and pulled it off dramatically.

"Ta-Da!"

The shorter boy stared at the cage

"Why, did you get a pet COCKATOO, Yami?" Yugi groaned.

Yami merely shrugged,

"I liked the name."

The white bird started at them…and they stared at it…and it started back at them.

"Doesn't it DO anything?" Yugi asked.

"It eats and poops."

Yugi rolled his eyes,

"I mean like talk or sing…"

"Not since he's been here." He paused, "Of course if I were locked in a cage I wouldn't want to sing either."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Come on Yugi, it's a bird, how much trouble could it be?"

Reaching forward Yami lifted the latch on the cage and opened the door. The bird's yellow head dressing ruffled up before launching it's self from the cage with mock-seven forces.

"Yikes!" Yugi screamed covering his head. The bird sailed over them landing on top of Seto's large TV…and promptly pooped on it. Yami's eyes went wide then stalked over to the television.

"Bad Bird!" He wagged his finger at the animal, "Very bad bird!"

The bird simply squawked at him definitely.

"Oh great just what we need," Yugi sighed, "Another white haired terror."

"Yugi, calm down I can handle this!" Yami ordered then turned to cockatoo. "Alright you stretched your wings…you want to go back in the cage now right?" he reached forward slowly trying not to excite the animal, but the bird knew what was happening. It shot upward landing on top of the curtain rod. Yami and Yugi stared up helplessly.

"We need a stool." Yugi said sadly.

"I don't have one."

"You don't have one? In this HUGE house, you don't have a stool!"

"Well…Seto always got the high stuff down for me."

Yugi sighed loudly.

"So how are we going to get it?"

Yami's brow scrunched in thought. The devil bird, meanwhile, started pulling apart the very expensive fabric of the drapes.

"Okay! I'll lift you up and you can grab it, or at least scare it away from the drapes."

"I don't know about this."

"I won't drop you. Stand on that chair then climb on my shoulders."

Yugi did as instructed, one could barely tell were one wild hair-do ended and were the other began.

"AH! Hold steady Yami!"

"I'm trying!"

They hobbled over to the drapes.

"Come here birdie, come here!" Yugi said sweetly holding out his arm. The bird responded by pulling out another strand of fabric.

"Plan B Yugi!"

Yugi's formerly still arm flung toward the bird.

"Shoo!"

The animal screeched and took to the air; aimed right at Yugi.

"Back up Yami!"

Yami took a frenzied leap back, losing his balance in the process. He stumbled backward losing Yugi; if it weren't for the well-placed couch the shorter boy would have had a huge headache.

"'How much trouble could it be?' You said."

"Yeah I know, you told me so. Now were did that feathered fiend go?"

It wasn't to be seen.

"It could be anywhere!" Yugi cried, though, a sudden crash clued them into the general area of the bird. Yami paled.

"It's in Seto's office."

Yami took the stares two at a time running full speed. He was going so fast he slid past the door he wanted. Scrambling back to the right room he nearly fainted. The crash they heard was Seto's state of the art computer plummeting to the floor. OH RA. Well he wasn't going to get any for a few days. Now he was mad.

"You blasted bird!" he yelled, "Where are you? Show yourself!" The former pharaoh stomped around the room, throwing pillows here to there, flinging aside the curtains, "I'll pluck everyone of your feathers and stuff a pillow with it I swear to RA! I'll-" He stopped abruptly and began backing up.

"Yami!" Yugi breathed breathlessly just catching up.

"Don't move Yugi."

"What? Why?" A pointed hand was his answer. The bird was sitting in the closet, open brief case by his side, a duel monsters card in his mouth. "No WAY!"

Yami sputtered out some Egyptian in the tone of voice that led Yugi to believe he was cursing. Of course, out of all the cards in the case that beast would have to grab the Blue-Eyes White Dragon. Days with out any just turned to months with out any.

"This bird is the devil incarnate."

"What do we do?" Yugi whispered

"Catch the damn bird." Yami replied slipping of his coat. "Go to the kitchen and get some grapes. When he lets go of the card I'll snatch him with my coat." Yugi nodded. Yami silently stared down the cockatoo while Yugi was gone. No one, and certainly no animal, was going to get between him and Seto. This bird was going down. The white demon stared back, its beady little eyes glittering with challenge.

"I got the grapes!" Yugi said upon his return.

"Okay, roll them over to the bird. Its dinner time you little-"

_RING! _The shrill ring of the phone sitting on Seto's desk startled the bird into the air and on top of the bookshelf. Yami let out a frustrated grown and snatched up the phone.

"WHAT!"

"…Well hello to you to. I though I called myself there for a moment."

"Oh, hi SETO." Yami said pointedly to Yugi.

"Yeah, hi…are you okay?"

"Me? I'm fine, why would anything be wrong?" Yami sputtered out.

"I didn't ask if anything was wrong."

Yami chocked a little

"And why would you because everything is fine!"

"Yami what's wrong?"

"I told you, nothing."

"I know when your lying to me baby."

"Seto I am insulted that you'd think I'd ever lie to you."

"Did someone attack you? Are they in the house!"

"NO! I'm fine really." Yami squeezed his eyes shut and grimaced. This wasn't going well, all he was doing was upsetting Seto and digging himself into a huge whole. Across the room Yugi had dragged the desk chair over to the bookshelf and was on top of it trying to get the bird. Unfortunately the chair was one with wheels on it. When Yugi leaned in to reach for the devil animal the chair rolled backwards away from the bookcase taking his feet with it. He flung his arms out and grabbed one of the shelves for support, now he was stuck. His body was diagonal, feet on the chair, hands gripping shelving for dear life.

"-I assure you Seto no one is taking over your company" Pause… "No Mokuba is fine!"

"Yami!" Yugi whispered harshly. Yami turned.

"Ah!" he exclaimed dropping the phone and rushed over to push the chair back under Yugi's body before the younger boy could break his neck.

"YAMI?" Seto yelled over the phone, "YAMI? OKAY, THAT'S IT! I'M COMING HOME!"

By the time Yami picked the phone up again all he heard was a 'click', then dial tone.

"Um…Yami?" Yugi asked carefully

"Things went from bad to worse Yugi." He responded still staring at the phone, "He's coming back!"

"Well we still have some time right? How long is the flight?"

"In Seto's jets? Um…maybe an hour."

"AN HOUR?"

"There really good jets"

(A/N: Go with it! )

Yami reached down and, picking up the grapes again, he moved slowly towards the bookshelf. Despite how much he wanted to bonk the bird on the head with them, he aimed the small fruit to land just beside the bird on the shelf. A few bounced off to the floor, but a number hit their mark, and the bird was looking at them greedily.

"Mmmm grapes." Yami said as if it would make the bird respond quicker. Another grape landed next to the others…a very tempting dish. The cockatoo gave in. Dropping the card he snatched up a grape. Yami watched as the card slowly drifted down, his eyes followed its every shift in the air until it was in grabbing distance- then he snatched it. The instant the card touched his hand relief flooded threw his entire body, he would put the card back in the case and Seto would never know this had happened. NEVER.

"Make sure you keep that thing in sight Yugi, I'm going to put this back."

Yugi gave him a mock solute before staring at the bird; the feathered fiend was too busy eating to notice how carefully Yami replaced its former hostage. What it did notice, however, was the change in atmosphere when the crimson-eyed boy came back. There was danger in those eyes.

"Here birdie, birdie."

With a flap of wings the demon was gone.

"After it!" Yami screamed and took off down the stares.

The bird flew into the dinning room, Yami followed close behind. Looking up he saw the bird was trying to take refuge in the glass chandler, but Yami was on top of the table in no time.

"Yugi, please get me a broom."

But it wasn't necessary; the bird flew the coop again.

They had probably run threw every room in the house, and in the process breaking at least one thing per room, until the bird finally made it's way into the large metal plated kitchen.

"Close the door Yugi!"

BANG! The large swinging wooden doors shut. All the windows had been closed a head of time. This was then end of the line. The two would-be-bird-catchers stood, their feet spaced, reflexes toned, and jackets in hand. The bird's eyes darted back and forth looking for any kind of exit. Yami indicated with the point of his finger for Yugi to go left around the kitchen island while he went right. They'd try to corner to beast. Slowly they tipped toed toward the bird a heavy silence of intense concentration in the air. The animal sat there ruffling it's feathers and letting out a squawk every so often. Yami held up one hand signaling with his fingers- 3…2…1

They lunged at the bird, coats at the ready. All they got was air and a greeting from the hard wood floor.

"For the love of RA!" Yami yelled in frustration.

The cockatoo squawked mockingly at them from its new position on the counter. Yami threw the coat down; he was absolutely livid now. Grabbing the first thing he saw, which happened to be a plastic spatula, he went after the bird a'swinging. There was no thought out plan this time, just blind rage. The demon wasn't expecting that. It's beady eyes widened momentarily before it had to take to the air to avoid the spatula. Yugi just stood back and watched. It was a strange sight. The blur of white feathers was flying into everything trying to get away from the crazy spatula wielding, Egyptian screaming former pharaoh. Pans crashed to the ground, silver wear was thrown everywhere, the glass blender didn't have a snowball's chance in Hell, even the oven door was thrown open, but through all of it Yami didn't leave the birds tail. They went around the kitchen three times! Finally the bird sought refuge in the only open space it could find.

The Oven.

Yami slammed the door close.

The black limo was speeding down the road at speeds that would have made a fighter pilot wince. In the drivers seat was one, worried out of his mind, Seto Kaiba, and in the passenger seat was one limo driver holding on for dear life. Seto had decided, after one block of driving, that the poor man just wasn't going fast enough so he had taken over. He didn't have time to mess around; something was wrong at home. He knew it, Yami wouldn't lie to him unless he had a good reason, a reason being, perhaps, his lover didn't want him home in the danger that apparently was there. Well too bad. He was on his way damn whatever tried to stop him. That included stops signs, red lights and, if it so happened, the police. Luckily, that didn't happen. Whether it was dumb luck, or the police recognized the vehicle and didn't want to get involved with "the glare" again, it didn't matter to the CEO. All that mattered was the sight of his large gate in the distance and closing the gap between it and himself. He needed to know if Yami was okay, if he wasn't the brunet would never forgive himself. He was certainly not going on any long business trips for a while. Red Light. Horns, Yelling, Certain finger gestures, it all rolled off his back as he FINALLY pulled into his drive. Flinging off the seat belt he threw the car door open and raced toward the front door, leaving the limo driver to slip off his belt and slowly sink to the floor of the car with a whimper of 'thank god'.

"Yami!" He yelled throwing the door open, "Where are you? What's wrong?"

He did manage to hear someone call his name happily before he was tackled to the ground. Although the CEO wasn't sure where Yami had come from, the other was now straddling him and covering his face in light butterfly kisses, which, usually, was a good thing, but there were other pressing matters. He gently pushed Yami away from his face so he could speak. During this whole production, and all his attention being on Yami, Seto didn't notice Yugi's disposal of cleaning supplies, followed by a timely exit out the back door.

"Yami, are you okay? What happened?" Seto asked

"What are you talking about?"

"When I called…something was wrong."

"I told you then love, everything is fine."

"But I heard you scream!"

"Rat."

"What?"

"I saw a rat."

"A rat?"

"A rat."

Seto's mouth hung open. That is what this had been about? He cancelled the rest of a very important meeting because his boyfriend had been startled by a rat? But before he could say anything, said boyfriend took advantage of his open mouth and ravished him for a few minutes. Finally breaking apart their bruised lips, Yami leaned forward to rest his forehead on Seto's.

"But it was nice that you came running to the rescue."

"I feel like an idiot."

Yami ran his palms over Seto's chest

"I don't know, you feel good to me."

"Yami."

"Yes?"

"What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm unbuttoning your shirt."

"Right here…on the floor of the entry way…with the front door still wide open?"

Placing a hand forcefully on Seto's chest to keep him in place Yami used the other hand to swing the door close.

"Better?"

"My, aren't we forward today."

"Lets just say I don't want you in your office."

But with the door now closed and no new air circulating, a strange smell reached the brunet's nose. He lifted his head up toward the kitchen and sniffed the air.

"Yami?"

"Yes?"

"Are you making chicken?"

END


End file.
